Responsible For People vs. Responsible To People

Professional ministers and Church leaders can be very controlling by nature. We place on ourselves the responsibility to develop people as growing disciples of Jesus Christ, so we create environments we can control. If I consider myself responsible for how people develop spiritually, I want to control environments in the church to help people become more like Jesus. But inevitably, even when my intentions are good, it’s easy to make programs, services, or classes more important than the people I want to help.

When programs become more important than people, they feel disrespected, insulted, and parented.

As a servant leader, am I responsible for the people I lead or am I responsible to them? How I answer that question will determine my effectiveness and my level of satisfaction in what God has called me to do. Kem Meyer, in her book Less Clutter, Less Noise listed the differences between “Responsible To” and “Responsible For leadership.” (Kem actually summarized Mark Waltz in his book Lasting Impressions).

1. When I’m responsible to people I understand they have a choice. When I’m responsible for people, I think I should decide for them.
2. When I’m responsible to people,  know they must figure out their next step. When I’m responsible for people, I must tell them what  their next step is.
3. When I’m responsible to people, I allow them to bear the brunt of the consequences of their own chosen actions. When I’m responsible for them, I assume the guilt, or worse the shame for them
4. When I’m responsible to people, I engage in their journey, offering encouragement and teaching. When I’m responsible for people I try to direct their journey, never allowing them to wrestle, mess up, or make a wrong turn.
5. When I’m responsible to people I talk to God on their behalf. When I’m responsible for people, I talk to people a lot on God’s behalf.

The truth is, I’ll never have all the answers, so why do I feel the need to act as if I do? What I’m discovering is that if I’ll come alongside people and help them by being responsible to them, they just might decide to take the next step toward Christ because I’ve gotten out of their way.

Question: Please let me know how you’ve seen this play out? What are some examples of “Responsible To vs. Responsible For” that you’ve seen?